What Does '썸' (Some) Mean? The Korean 'Talking Stage' K-Dramas Never Explain
You've heard it in a hundred K-dramas. Two people clearly like each other, they text at 2am, they get weird when someone else shows interest — but ask them "are you dating?" and they both go, "no… not exactly." That in-between is called 썸 (sseom), and English genuinely does not have a clean word for it. "Talking stage" is the closest, but 썸 is older, more specific, and baked into how Koreans actually think about relationships.
So what does 썸 actually mean?
썸 is the stage where two people have mutual romantic interest and are acting on it — spending time together, flirting, texting constantly — but haven't officially started dating. Nobody has confessed. There's no label. But there's very much something going on. That's the key: it's not one-sided pining, and it's not friendship. It's the electric, slightly agonizing maybe-zone before anything is decided.
Where the word comes from
Here's the part most explainers get wrong or skip. 썸 is a direct borrowing from the English word "something" — specifically from the older slang 썸씽 (sseomssing, "something"), as in "there's something between us." Koreans clipped 썸씽 down to just 썸, and it stuck.
It's genuinely recent slang. Language researchers trace 썸 in this romantic sense back to around 2009 on blogs and Q&A sites, and it hit mainstream print by 2012. It's not old-fashioned Korean at all — it's a smartphone-era word, born from a generation of 20-somethings texting each other into ambiguous half-relationships. Which is exactly why it feels so modern and so relatable.
썸타다 — "riding the something"
The verb you'll hear constantly is 썸타다 (sseom-tada). It literally breaks down as 썸 (something) + 타다 (to ride) — so, "to ride the something." A looser translation: "there's something going on between us." If a Korean friend says "나 요즘 썸 타고 있어" (I'm in a 썸 these days), they mean they're in that talking-stage limbo with someone specific.
You'll also meet:
- 썸남 (sseom-nam) — your "something guy," the male person you're in a 썸 with
- 썸녀 (sseom-nyeo) — your "something girl"
- 삼귀다 (sam-gwida) — a Gen-Z joke word. 사귀다 (to date) starts with 사, which sounds like 4; swap it for 삼 (3), and 삼귀다 means "we're at stage 3, one step before officially dating (4)." It's newer and cheekier than 썸타다.
The stage that K-dramas are secretly built on
This is the part global fans rarely get told. In Korean dating culture, relationships move through a recognized sequence of stages, and 썸 is the crucial second one:
처음 만남 (first meeting)
↓
썸 (something / talking stage)
↓
밀당 (push-and-pull — the flirty power games)
↓
고백 (the confession)
↓
사귐 / 사귀다 (officially dating)
The reason so many K-drama romances feel agonizingly slow to Western viewers is that they linger on 썸 and 밀당 for episode after episode. There's no casual "so are we a thing?" conversation. Instead, someone has to make a formal 고백 (confession) — an explicit "I like you, let's date" — and only then does 썸 convert into 사귐, an official, exclusive relationship. Until the 고백 happens, everyone stays suspended in 썸. That single cultural rule is the engine behind half the slow-burn dramas you love.
🇰🇷 The Korean side vs 🌍 The global side
🇰🇷 In Korea, 썸 is treated as a real, named phase with its own etiquette. There's even a well-known anxiety around it: "썸 타는 기간이 너무 길면 피곤하지 않아?" — "Isn't it exhausting if the 썸 phase drags on too long?" The pressure is real, because someone eventually has to risk the 고백 or let it fizzle.
🌍 Globally, fans reach for "talking stage" or "situationship," but those aren't quite it. A situationship implies something a little aimless or avoidant; 썸 implies genuine mutual interest that's heading somewhere — it just hasn't been made official yet. The vibe is hopeful, not evasive.
📊 The gap: English frames the talking stage as a modern dating gray area to be a little embarrassed about. Korean gives 썸 a name, a verb, a gendered vocabulary, and a fixed place in the relationship timeline — it's a recognized rite of passage, not a mistake.
썸 in the wild — real examples
- 나 걔랑 요즘 썸 타고 있어. — "I've got something going on with them lately."
- 우리 아직 썸 단계야. — "We're still in the 썸 stage."
- 썸만 타다 끝났어. — "It never went past the 썸 and just ended." (the tragic one)
Fun bit of drama history: one of the most-cited on-screen 썸 moments is in My Love from the Star (2013–14), where a character is convinced there's something between her and the lead. Peak 썸 energy.
FAQ
Is 썸 the same as "talking stage"?
Very close, but 썸 specifically implies mutual interest that's building toward dating, and it comes with its own vocabulary (썸남, 썸녀, 썸타다). "Talking stage" is the best English shorthand.
How do you say you're in a 썸?
썸 타다 / 썸 타고 있다 — literally "riding the something." E.g. 나 썸 타는 중이야 ("I'm in a 썸 right now").
What ends a 썸?
Either a 고백 (confession) that turns it into official dating (사귐), or one person backing off and it quietly fizzling. There's no in-between "we're kind of together" in Korean — the 고백 is the switch.
Is 썸 a real word or just slang?
Slang — a clipped borrowing of English "something" (썸씽), in use since around 2009. It's now completely mainstream across all age groups.
Key details
- Word: 썸 (sseom)
- From: English "something" → 썸씽 → 썸
- Means: the talking stage — mutual crush before official dating
- Verb: 썸타다 ("to ride the something")
- Related: 썸남 / 썸녀 (your "something" guy/girl), 삼귀다 (Gen-Z near-dating)
- Stage order: 처음 만남 → 썸 → 밀당 → 고백 → 사귐
- In use since: ~2009
💬 Jamie's Take
썸 is one of those words I wish English had. Not because it's exotic — because it's useful. It names a real thing every one of us has lived through: that stretch where you know, and they know, and neither of you has said it. Korean just decided to give it a name, a verb, and a spot on the map between "we met" and "we're dating." Once you know 썸 exists, you'll suddenly see it running underneath basically every slow-burn K-drama. You're welcome. And also, I'm sorry.
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